I need well meaning Nigerians to come to my aid. I’m in pains and as I narrate my story, I’m doing so in tears.
I hail from Osi in Ondo State, Nigeria. I had my primary and secondary education from the same community before proceeding to learn hairdressing.
My lack of exposure to modern society contributed to my misfortune but the deed has already been done. What I need now is your candid advise on how I can get out of this wilderness, i am confused.
I am Elizabeth and I was 21years old when I completed my apprenticeship as an hairdresser. I got married to Kayode, my boyfriend of secondary school.
We’ve been dating for a while and along the line, I got pregnant for him while we were in class five (that’s SS2 now). We quickly resolved to terminate the pregnancy and with the help of some of our friends we we’re able to locate a doctor who did the abortion. It was successful, so it seemed then.
After the termination of the pregnancy, we both went into a covenant never to leave each other (blood covenant in the traditional way).
I completed my training and Kayode secured a job with a company that just came to town. We felt comfortable enough and decided it was time to settle down.
Our parents were glad our long term friendship has turned into a proper union and it was celebrated in a big way. We got married!
It didn’t take long for me to get pregnant after marriage and I thank God for that. Suddenly things started taking an unexpected turn.
I had my baby, a premature in 7 months. We were transferred to the state hospital where my baby was placed in an incubator, he was so small.
After a month, we were discharged from the state hospital but my baby was still below 3kg.
We nursed and nurtured him and thank God he was growing but not as much as children of his age. He fell ill often and we were like tenants in the hospital, always there. When he eventually clocked 2, he fell ill again, this time around, stronger than it used to be. I became pregnant again.
We were referred to a specialist hospital were my baby was discovered to be suffering from the sickle cell anaemia.
I inquired from the doctor to understand perfectly what he was trying to say. He explained everything to me in details. We asked the doctor what we can do to save my child and what to do to avoid future reocurrence. The doctor’s suggestion was scary as well as offensive to me. ‘There is a medical center in Lagos State where the baby in your womb can be tested’, the doctor explained. ‘They would carry out the test to determine the genotype of your foetus, if the baby is discovered to be suffering from the sickle cell anaemia, you can terminate the pregnancy right away’. Doctor concluded.
I was shocked as well confused at the details of the pains my child is going through as a sickle cell patient. I don’t want to bring more children into this world to suffer this fate. All of these, simply because I and Kayode did not know our genotypes before getting married.
We took the matter to our parents who vehemently kicked against an abortion saying ‘A ko mo omo to maa sin eni’ meaning ‘You never can tell which of your children will be there for you’.
We went to the medical centre in Lagos where we were told to pay a total sum of N120,000 for the test. Where do we get the money from fast? We need more money to take care of the baby we already have. What if we eventually get the money and the test done and the foetus was discovered to be suffering from the anaemia, are we still going to terminate the pregnancy after spending so much money? How long will this continue in our lives? This challenge is too enormous for me. Even now that we’re aware of the high risk involved in our union, it is impossible for us to separate because of the oath we both swore to, never leave each other, infact it is a blood covenant.
Please, well meaning Nigerians, kindly advice me on what I can do through this medium.‘
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